"THE GATHERING OF THE CLANS"

Gather round friends and I'll tell you the story of a mighty gathering of the
most powerful clans of the north. It had been decided by the grand committee
that all the clans should unite on Tong Moor under the red and white banner
of the PLRC.

Wolrab, who as a mighty Viking king living in that far off mystical land
of Shaw, decreed that his clan must attend. It was decided to build a mighty
war machine for the occasion and 'Warrior I' was formed. Wolrab gathered
about his might warriors and lusty wenches; there was Nahteb, his beautiful
and voluptuous wife and his daughter, the delicate Princess Anne. His
warlord was a mighty leader called Yerffej who brought with him a dusky
maiden from the east, Arabab, and his two sons Pilhip and Ekim. They
consulted a wide old sage Ttenneb who cast his stones and read his bones
and then advised: "Buy a motorbike!!"

Undeterred the plans were set and one sunny evening in August the Wolrab
clan set sail for Tong. 'Warrior 1' was being carried on a specially constructed
raft and being towed by 'Steamy Windows' which, with a following wind,
reached 35 mph on at least two occasions during the crossing of the Pennines.

Camp was established on a grassy slope next to the mystical brooding wood
and Wolrab could see many camp fires burning and the sound of merriment
echoed across the valley as children were roasted and the suckling pig put
to bed (we should be so lucky!).

It was late on Saturday night when Wolrab observed a strange and wondrous
ritual. Two wizards had set up camp in a far corner of the field and many
of the warriors were taking their war machines and driving them into their'
tent. The wizards would then perform various rituals and eventually offer
the warrior a card as a reward.

It was decided to put 'Warrior 1 through the ritual and so Wolrab joined
the queue. It soon came time for 'Warrior 1's' ritual to commence and so
they encountered the wizards' tent. A wizard greeted the Wolrab with magical
incantations like "Rock the steering" and "You need some more tie wraps
on that brake pipe". He truly was a wise man. When the ritual was completed
the wizard awarded 'Warrior 1' with a card Class 3. This caused much
celebration in the Wolrab camp and that night the fatted calf was roasted
over an open fire and many horns of ale emptied (purchased from Aldi).
The following morning saw battle commence. It had been decided to put
'Warrior 1' through 15 different and gruelling tests of courage. The clan
gathered to give support. Nahteb was to accompany Wolrab on half of the
tests and she proved a fearless navigator, negotiating the sections with her
eyes shut and screaming encouragement at almost every turn (well, screaming
anyway!).

Yerffej accompanied Wolrab on the remaining tests and it is his voice that
remains clearest in the memory. Having just scaled a rather steep bank and
crested a ridge only to find a large dip, Yerffej screamed the immortal word,
"TREE!!" and immediately pointed to an enchanted tree that was rushing
towards 'Warrior I'. This was indeed a mystical place, without any warning
the three threw itself at 'Warrior I' causing severe damage and much
consternation. Wolrab and Yerffej decided the tree must be enchanted as no
one else had seen it move. The damage was repaired using that age old delicate
tool, the Viking lump hammer and 'Warrior I' continued. It was then that
two guides, who had accompanied the clan, John and Sarah, offered valuable
advice to Wolrab, but he decided to ignore that and carry on.

The day ended with a glorious sunset which almost tempted Wolrab to launch
himself into the Viking funeral in 'Warrior I' (especially after seeing the
results).

The rest of the weekend the clan spent observing the powerful warriors of
the other clans trying to destroy their machines by driving them into trees
(very fast).

In conclusion we have sacrificed a peasant's first-born male child in the hope
that all meetings go so well and the clan as a whole would like to thank
everyone that worked so hard to make "The meeting of the clans" such a
success. The hours spent are a credit to the PLRC, especially Graham and
Michael (the two wizards).

Thanks,  The Clan Wolrab

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