TONG — A brief review

There was an exceptional turn out of campers, competitors and spectators despite

the unsettled weather.

We had the usual visitors from Yorkshire and Red Rose along with some down from

Cumbria and North Eastern ROC and some long-travelling Southern members.

Hopefully they enjoyed the do and will spread the gospel for next year.

Over 50 motors entered the RTV — with a delayed start due to time taken for all

the motors to get through scrutineering — making for an excellent start to the

weekend. Pete Brown (C ofC) had carefully selected the non-damaging but testing

parts of the Tong site and at the end there were only two classes which required

run-offs.

Only four teams entered the Point-to-Point. Perhaps the fear of damage so early
on in the weekend put competitors off. Michael Chaloner had set out 15 sections
which were either driveable (with a bit of thought) or easily recoverable. Both Steve and myself consider a P to P a good one-hour's thrash and certainly good value for money. There was more physical damage than motor damage as our rope person — Lynne — gashed her knee and despite her throwing a wobbler at having to go to the hospital she was dragged away for some stitches. They said they did not have enough thread to do her mouth! ("Well, I was worried about missing the Barbie and booze-up!" — Priorities!! L.O.)

The marquee was put to good use throughout the weekend and especially on Saturday evening when Heather did her sterling work with the barbeque and Mick Walker pulled endless pints in the horsebox bar.

The tyre pull stretched itself through the marquee and despite intense competition
from a hyped-up Carl Blackledge yours truly reigns supreme (thanks team!'.).
The trial on Sunday, which was preceded by some very heavy showers that made
the surface very slippery, proved a very testing time on some sections for the 70 +
competitors. Some excellent scores were returned with Steve Wilson gaining 1st
overall with just 5 points, closely followed by Andrew Kitchen and Chris Chesters
on 7 points. Nick Harrison won the Range Rover class with 13 points. Ann Boyes
won the Ladies' Prize as well as second in class with 21 points and the Rochdale
Brick was won by Andrew Scorthorn with 96 points.
40 motors lined up for the run-round on the night comp on Sunday evening. The
slippery surface and magnetic trees claimed one or two motors during the night and, with the necessary stoppages to clear the stranded motors, the proposed three runs were cut to 2 to give all entrants a chance of completing in the time allowed.
There was a slow start to the day runs on Monday morning — it appeared that no
one wanted to leave their beds even though the sun was shining. The magnetic trees
bent one or two wings during the day and one motor even did the back stroke in
the stream.

El Presidente did the honours with the prize-giving in front of the video camera
which had been recording the whole weekend's events. Perhaps the most surprised
prize-winner was Steve Oliver who received (for the second time) the Yorkshire
Relic Trophy after returning a snail-like time for the night runs. Nearly as slow as
Andy Bury who, unfortunately for Steve, was not in a standard motor.
There were some very tired and dirty looking motors, competitors, marshals, wives
and girlfriends, kids and dogs leaving the site on Monday evening. Hopefully
everyone thought it worthwhile and will look back on the event with some good
memories.

Thanks to all who helped in any way to make the whole event the success that it
was despite the weather.

PITS GOSSIP

One or two titbits from the overful Tong Pits.

The new fuel area was put to good use throughout the weekend and the fire
extinguisher is still full. I must confess to refuelling my motor, on one occasion,
by the side of my caravan — I slapped my wrist when I remembered about the
refuelling area.

Steve had his LWT MoT'd so Lynne could enter the RTV as practice for the CCVT.

She made a couple of mistakes in the RTV but was unable to enter the CCVT after
her little mishap in the P to P. Still, she received a pot for being a rope-person.

Rod Depledge has transplanted a V8 into his Ninety and thrown a roll bar in the
back so that he could use and abuse the motor in the trial.

Glen McKcith made good use of his last event in the shed (until he buys it back
again) getting 1st in class in the trial. Melvin Garside, the new owner of the shed,
then went on to win Class 2 in the comp.

Andrew Kitchen broke a front half-shaft on Section 4 on the trial and still got a one. He borrowed a dodgy half-shaft off team turtle and went on to win Class 6.

Stuart Ainsworth had a similar problem but managed to repair it in time for the comp.

One of our visitors from Cumbria rolled on exiting the stream on Section 2, without damage. They claimed that they were not used to all the mud as they only had rocks up in Cumbria — hence the strong chequer plate on their roof.

An argument with a tree ended Dave Baker and Sarah Hamptons trial as it holed
the radiator. Martin Dransfield and Matthew Harrison had similar problems with
the radiators in the Range Rovers.

TONG

Well, what a do that was. Our story begins three weeks before. The W.W.T. was
looking somewhat depleted. The old Thunderbus had a poorly engine and the front
suspension was somewhat disarranged after Hebden Bridge. Squirrel had his
transmission in bits, but 1 amp was ready to give his dinky toy another run out.

At this point things really started to happen. I set about mine and after a few harassing days. the old girl was ready to go. Pound Puppy, who you all may remember, bought 1 amp's old motor some years ago. Now, three weeks before Tong, finally decided to sell it to Pete. Pete went on holiday and left 1 amp with the unenviable task of rebuilding it before Tong.

Fair do's, he gave it his best shot, but just failed at the last hurdle. Never mind,
I am sure it won't be long before we see the old girl back in the swing.

So that was that, the W.W.T. consisted of Pete, 1 amp, James, Neil, Yours Truly
and two new members, Barry, (James and Neil's) friend and Craig, who works with
Pete. Pete can do ow't wi wood. Craig can do ow't with pipes (plumber you see).

To be honest I don't know where they all went now. James came with me, Craig
and Pete went in the van, not the love bug, but Pete's new 5-speed, radio included,
Tranny. I amp had the lads I think, and also pulled the camping trailer. We gave
him the trailer because it made his motor look a bit longer. Squirrel was to come
along later. So wagons Ho! Pete and I set off one way up the back street. 1 amp
hitched up the trailer and followed. Pete and I waited 200 yards down the main road for 1 amp to catch up. We waited, and we waited, yes and we waited. I decided to go back. Funny, he had gone. Obviously not the usual route. So I dash back to Pete and we roared off. Pete missed the lights at the top of Whalley and by the time I had done two miles all three of us were three miles apart. Anyway we regrouped at the petrol station at Baxenden, filled up and set off.

The rest of the journey was fairly uneventful and we all arrived at Tong around
1.30 p.m. The usual Marx Brothers carry-on started with the tent erection, and by
2.30 p.m. we were properly ensconsed. We had lunch, sorry we had Barry's

lunch, ripped a few scabs off a few tinnies and did manage a quick game of cricket
in between the showers.

The lads disappeared around 5 p.m. and did the bike trial. I didn't watch, but I believe the lads didn't get a position but in our three, newcomer Barry gave old campaigners Neil and James a right drubbing.

Squirrel still hadn't turned up so it looked as if we were going to miss the point-to-point. I wasn't going to rope anyway because I had a bad back. When all looked
lost Peter Heaton arrived with his mother and Andy Bury; bloody hell, do you all
remember old Three Bar Andy. Anyway, he lent 1 amp his motor. Pete sat in with
1 amp and Craig sat in with Peter (stick a carrot in front of me and I'll go anywhere)

Heaton.

The lads and I sat by Section One.

They'll be along any minute," I assured.

Half an hour went by without a sign. Then they flew past about six times, but never

stopped for Section One.

"Obviously lost," I said. "I'm going to make the tea."

"Yeh," said the lads. "I think we'll come too".

See what it is men, you've got to crowd please. It doesn't matter about the result,

you've got to crowd please.

So there I was quietly cooking tea for seven when suddenly the peace was disturbed by the return of the trio.

"Nay, bloody hell. it's supposed to be new watch."
"It is a new watch, it's lost five minutes in an hour."
"You are supposed to read the map the right way round."
"I'm not having that".
"Tea's ready gentlemen," I interrupted.

So we all had tea, had a few more tinnies and went to the bar to join in all the antics.
Over tea I learned that apparently Pete's watch had lost five minutes in the course
of events, and they didn't get back in time. Anyway it's not the winning, it's the
taking part.

By this time I'm curled up like an old man (less of it) with my bad back. Squirrel
finally arrived stinking of curry and the tyre pulling started.

We had an ace up our sleeves in the shape of mighty Karl Blackledge. He held the
lead for some time, but finally bowed to Rob Gill's superiority. Hard luck, Karl,
get some practice in.

So off to bed. We arranged ourselves like sardines in our newly washed tent. Wailing 1 amp by the wall, Squirrel snuggled up to him, Craig next followed by me. Pete made up the other book end. Then it rained, and it rained. It even started raining in, but that was all right because it was landing on Craig. 1 amp was doing his usual jumbo jet impersonation, but despite all this I had a reasonable night's sleep.

Day 2 — Sunday Trial

Right, breakfast for seven. Bacon and egg butts (sorry Fraser — Who's Fraser?)
came flying out of the tent like clay pigeons. Breakfast out of the way, let's all line up for the trial.

We started at Section 1. I think most of us cleared it and rolled on to Section 15.
Unfortunately, Squirrel's motor failed to climb out of the woods. The usual ear
wagging started and I moved to the line. I cleared the wood all right, but took the

wrong line to the one stick and ended up stuck on a tree. On to number one. I can't
really remember all the sections by number, but all in all I seemed to do all right
on most of the sections, and by lunchtime I only had about seven points.

We all threw a few butts down and reassembled at 1.15 p.m. for the afternoon's
sections. Squirrel and Craig started the afternoon with a football score and so did
1 amp and Woody. Pete and I deteriorated slightly making the odd slip up here and
there and ended up with 35 points.

Squirrel went on to a magnificent 62 not out and 1 amp came a close second with

50. Ah well, that was that. A good day's trialing and well done the two lads who

marshalled. I believe it was their first do. They were a bit slow to start, but got

it together towards the end.

The usual stew was concocted for tea by the new Chef (I can do ow't with a can)

Pete. Woody yet again invited himself along and proceeded to demolish 3 dishes

full and half a dozen rolls. That's all right Woody, no problem, but if you think

you're getting your gear oil back you've another think coming.

All of us passed scrutin and we all lined up for a run round. We waited for what

seemed forever then eventually we began.

I hadn't done 100 yards when the fog lights went out and the familiar smoke filled
the cab. We pulled over to investigate, but could see nothing. So we finished the
run round on one army headlight. We returned to camp and by fair means or foul
sorted the problem and lined up for a run.

Anyway as we sat on the line I said to Pete: "Can you remember owt?"

"No".

"Ah well, here goes".

We roared off from the start and down the hill to the gully, up the hill, right into

the woods. Gently does it — boing! Blast — a tree. Anyway we reversed off that

one, turned left and slid into another. We backed off and had another go, no — boing!

"Back off".

"Right" — again boing!

We must have reversed about five times. Eventually we got round and finished the

lap in 9 minutes odd.

The second lap was a better start. We managed to negotiate the trees perfectly, and roared down the middle straight, but unfortunately, I decided to go over the hump instead of round it. We lost our way coming back down the same straight the other way. Navigator error I thought, anyway we finished and knocked a minute off our time. Back to the bar.

We all stuck our heads into a pint or two, had a good chin-wag and finally retired
to the swamp.

Surprise, surprise, even through 1 amp's snoring and the damp I had another good
night's sleep.

Day 3

Cock-a-doodle-do! rise and shine, let's go. Breakfast consisted of egg and bacon
butts and the sun was shining. What more could we want. I think 1 amp wanted
a trip to the loo. No this little escapade takes some imagining. Apparently when
he arrived at the toilet there was only the ladies vacant so in he went. Sorry girls,
but needs must. Now, if you have seen the tele advert with the woman trying all
different positions to get the cleanser in the pot, well that was 1 amp trying to

ablute. Apparently, according to 1 amp, 'cos he's into ladies' toilets, there wasn't
enough room to swing a cat in there so he wants to know how you girls manage.
Please fill him at the next do.

Anyway, to more pressing matters.

Run 1 — All went quite well apart from nearly bouncing into the trees going up
to the top straight.

Run 2 — Again all was going well apart from a nasty oil smell. Anyway we carried
on, but when we finished we inspected and found the plate on top of the transfer
box flopping about and that was spraying oil all over.

That didn't worry us too much and we continued regardless. We soon had five runs
under our belts and now for the last run. All was going well up to the bridge after
the field. I just wobbled a bit and ended up going across the bridge sideways with
the back wheels scuttering down the bank. Anyway we survived that and went on
to finish in style. How about that, finished, no damage and able to drive home.

This is where I would normally say all my thanks and sign off. No, so what could
possibly spoil a perfect weekend . . .

NICK NICK !!

We all packed up and made our way to the motorway. Now Squirrel had roared

off as usual, that left me leading, followed by 1 amp and Pete.

Just before Birch services we passed a Police Range Rover on his little mound. We
all thought he was asleep. Not so, he was up and at us. He gave us the once over,
then decided to pull us into the service area. 1 amp and Pete followed and parked
up in the front row seats for my official scrutineering.

"Good afternoon" he gloatingly remarked.
"Well, well sir, this is a bit of a mess isn't it?"

We that upset me to think that my Thunderbus, after three days eventing, could be
called a mess. I tried to explain that I had been off reading for three days and this was the result.

He then explained to me that I had a side light missing and a headlight missing.
I replied that it wasn't dark. That didn't seem to sway our hero.

"Right sir. let's have a look".

"Side lights?"

Three out of four, not bad I thought.

"Brake lights".

Bloody hell. they worked. He then went on to check the rest. Brakes, headlights,

winkers and then asked me to sit in and instructed me to sound the horn. Now my

horn isn't the best at most times and after three days of s—t being blasted at it, I

stood no chance at all. Anyway it blasted into action. Phew! We next tried the wipers, they were pretty good. Now I do wish he hadn't asked for the washers. If there is anything good on my motor it's the washers. Newly-fitted high pressure jobs.

"Put em on".

I obliged him. Suddenly that nice crisp pale blue shirt of his became covered in dark blue specks. A wry little smile crept across his face.

"They work all right sir, don't they".
"Er yep".

He then got hold of the steering wheel and moved it side to side. He said: "There's

nothing moving".

"There is, your arm and my steering wheel".

"No sir, I mean't the road wheels aren't turning".

"That's because my handbrake is on".

"All right sir, there seems to be excessive play in the steering".

"No, No, move it more, all Land-Rovers are like this".

"Really sir".

Anyway he poked and prodded a bit more then asked me to accompany him to his
Range Rover.

"Do sit in, sir".

"No thanks, you're alright, I'll mucky your seat."

"That doesn't matter sir, please sit in".

So I did and half a hundredweight of Tong dropped all over his shiny Range Rover.

I thought I'll impress him.

"I got first you know".

"Well, I've Just ruined your day haven't I?"

I thought I'm flogging a dead horse here.

Anyway I got my lecture and a "produce document" and he wrote down what was

missing, i.e. 1 sidelight, 1 headlight and winkers at the front. I've already written

to the Superintendent and no doubt I'll be hearing shortly.

Anyway, that's that, a good weekend was had by all despite the weather and I believe I won the comp and came second in the trial. Well done old Thunderbus.

Right, so thanks to the Landowner, Marshals, Caterers, Barman and everyone who
helped to put the whole show together. Thanks again to the lad who welded up the
chassis (Sorry I can't remember your name), and congratulations to the rest of the
winners.

See you all at Haggate,

CLIVE COCKS

HAGGATE

Once again good organisation and logistical perfection was thrown into chaos by

one tiny problem — £3,000-worth of repairs to Steve's LT van. He forgot to tell
everyone that the van's engine was going to blow within half a mile of setting off
from his house, early on Saturday morning. Maybe he didn't know — but ignorance
is no excuse in the eyes of the law—and team turtle.

We eventually arrived on site at 11.45 a.m. minus a setting-out motor, to be greeted by the regulars — John, Dave & Carol, along with Ian Mattock and a little Jack Russell.

Thankfully finding sections at Haggate is quite easy — driving them — well that's
another problem. With three sections BANGED in the kid's were grumbling about
lunch — so we trot to the local. After half a shandy lan was quite willing to try
out some of the sections and by the end of the day he got quite brave. We'll make
it a full pint next time then you won't need winchy, winchy as often.

By 4.30 we had 8 sections in and the other crew had done 4 — leaving us with 3
to sort out on Sunday.

Steve had to work on Sunday and the kids couldn't be bothered to get out of bed
so I was on my own. The sheep had not knocked down too many sticks overnight
and by 10.30 all the morning sections were socked up. 23 entries set off — a bit
late — as usual and Ian and myself watched a few attempt the sections before we
sorted out the rest of the sections. We reversed two of the morning sections at
lunchtime and sorted a final section out to make 15.

Raymond caused a bit of a stir by catching a couple of competitors who went out
of section. The sections were set out to be driven within the boundaries of the sticks without the use of boundary canes. On one of the later sections there was a point where it was not possible to drive within the boundary of the sticks. Sorry one mistake in 180 gates isn't bad.

Thankfully the weather was pleasant and the day seemed to go well. Thanks to the
SMALL band of helpers on Saturday, the marshals and once again the few people
who collected the sticks in. — ROB.

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