NATIONALS 92
A SPECTATORS POINT OF VIEW
 

(Sponsored by Newcastle Brown)

So off to the Nationals we go - load up the gear and set off on the M62,
June 17 - delays, wonderful, M6-tailbacks - delightful. Manage to arrive on
site at about 8.30pm. After setting up my tent I decide to cut my losses and
go to the beer tent. Best place to meet people. As usual the Pennine lot
stick together, a jolly good time was had by all.

The alarm call at the Nationals is about 7.30am, it comes all too quickly.
The alarm calls is one of three things, a V8, a diesel or a sodding big
generator. Can't remember much about Saturday - it was the RTV I think,
never mind - guess where I went, the lovely beer tent.

After much hard work laughing, drinking and generally having a good
time, its a dirty job but someone has to do it, the lights went out!

On Sunday Rod disappears for 4 hours to go get some stuff to make his
roll cage right. I must just mention scrutineering, a very sore point, as
between 40-60 failed on their roll cages. Holes in the bulkhead also
warranted a failure. The remedy for this was varied, some welded the
holes up whilst others jammed wood in the holes or a big handful of mud
thrown on did the job.

Sunday tea consisted of 6 Chocolate slices, a pot noodle and a bowl of
cornflakes - what a wonderful meal! - washed down with a couple of cans.
Then - yes - its getting very predictable, I seemed to wander off and found
the light refreshment tent.

In the morning I am awakened by a generator, used by Rod to get his
roll cage in shape. This carries on for a couple of hours so I had to get up
and go and watch the comp-safari. Quite a few very fast machines - shame
some didn't get round, wheels were lost and a corking roll over a knife edge
Just for the record the funny pedal in the middle is the BRAKE, cos this
guy really took off and rolled a few times - this caused the course to be
altered. There was a stretch near the finish which included a couple of
jumps near a big ditch - very amusing!

I had a very good time and I will definitely be going again. Must
mention the people who made it memorable and might just talk to me
again - Glen, Rod, their ladies, another Glen (uproar) Melvin, Brent and a
few others, who all blur into one - a super time was had by all.
Rob Merrison.

THE OUTINGS AT HAMELDON

By James Coonan (Age 12)

SATURDAY - Me and my friends Neil, Barry and Michael all went to Neil's
house. When we got there it was time to set off to Hameldon, so we set off
in the car with Neil's dad driving. Neil's dad had arranged to meet Mick
Higson in Whalley. We met him OK, no problems, and carried on. We got
there, all piled out of the vehicles and got the necessary things ready. When
all was well Mick Higson went to get his motor scrutineered for the champion
driver. Mick Heywood was to navigate for him. Eventually everyone that
was entered lined up at about 10 past 7. All engines revving then the whistle
went. Off they went. Me and my friends then went to find a suitable place
to go and watch. We found a good place near the bog. All was going great
until about 7 minutes to go when for some unknown reason Mick Higson
decided to go through the unknown at Hameldon. That was disasterous.
When all was finished we went to try and get the stranded motor out. It
took two other motors to try and get Micks motor out. Unfortunately both
ropes snapped. Then Dave Hoskins brought out a strap like something from
Noah's ark. No that did not snap but it still did not pull the stranded motor
out. Then Mick sent Neil to find Raymond to get his winch for us to see if
this would do any better. It did. We all got back to camp, packed up and
went home.

SUNDAY - It was arranged that we would meet in Whalley at about a quarter
to 9. I went with Mick Higson and Neil and Barry went with Neil's dad in the
NEW LANDY. Also with us was Clive. We got there - no problems. Mick,
Give and Mick all went to get their motors scrutineered. When all was
finished we got under way at about a quarter to 11. I got a ride with Mick
Higson going from section to section. Neil got a ride with Clive and Barry a
ride with Neil's dad. We all went to one of the sections, it was through a
mud hole. Some   of the first to go got through but then people started to
get stuck. Mick Higson and Clive had a go but that came to no avail. Then
after a bit Mick Heywood had a go but just put the hubs through the sticks
then backed out. As you can imagine no one was getting through now.
Soon it was time for dinner. We got back to camp had dinner and in no time
at all things were under way again. Soon we came to the last section. For
some unknown reason you had to back through it. Most did 0 .K. Apart
from the odd hick-up it was a great weekend for me and my friends.

Thanks to Mick Higson, Mick Heywood and Clive for making it a great
weekend for mvself. Neil and Barrv.

HAMELDON

As promised Rob, one write up. Its been a while since I put pen to paper
so with the W W T nearly back to full strength I thought its time for a bit of a
scribble.

Unfortunately, I didn't go to the Saturday Champion Driver Competition,
but I believe it was a fair old thrash, and I believe that the two Micks were back
to their old habit of digging themselves in, well and truly so I believe. Don't
worry Mick, just polish up the trophy and be prepared to give it up to the
worthy Champion. Now is that Dave or Glen. I believe there was some
controversy

Anyway, Sunday morning arrived and the W W T was back to its original
state. Squirrel with Range Rover and Trailer, 1 amp followed with his new
dinky toy and I burbled along in the Thunder Bus. Pete was working so he was
marked absent and Fraser, well I suppose he was doing his pound puppy
impressions in bed.

It was good to be back in the swing of things. You may have noticed,
recently I haven't had much success. Hameldon 'April' first time out since
November what happens - half a lap. Sowerby, Ladies/expert novice - waste
of time, one raw recruit novice and Pam (I've left my brains in a cupboard in
the kitchen) Duckworth led a dismal attempt at that.

Anyway I felt good, the motor was running alright, so lets go for it. The
only thing missing was a navigator. No Lea, no Mint Nurse, no
daughter - and so Dave. See I do ask fellas now and then.

We all passed scrutineering, well eventually I did after a bit of tightening
of Li-bolts. 1 amp decided that he would take his dinky toy's little roof
off. We all agreed that it looked better for the job, and it would save
tearing it when he rolled it over. He wasn't amused at that, anyway off we
went.

Sections 1 to 4 were ready, we all cleared 1 and 2, 1 think, anyway I went
on to number 3 'The bog'. I think we should have done that one first because
when we got to it they were pulling motors out left, right and centre. So came
my turn. Up the bank, along the ridge, drop into the hole and give it plenty.
Grrrrrrrrrr, thut. Stuck.

'Rope please' 1 requested.

'Who's gonna put the bloody thing on?' came the helpful rep¹

Anyway, some kind sole hooked me up and yanked me out. I waited for
Squirrel, expecting him to roar through in a blaze of glory. Not so. Seems
his motor had taken a liking to burying itself. I yanked him out, and on we
went. 1 amp had been and done another section in the meantime, but now it
was his turn to dirty his new little dinky toy.

I stood waiting for the splash, camera in hand. What does he do, he only
drives up to the 8 stick and stops. There were boo's and hisses. That didn't
budge our hero (Chicken S**t).

So on we went. By lunchtime we had done 7 sections and I had amassed
some 22 points, Squirrel had more and 1 amp had the same, 22. Not too good
we thought, anyway back for lunch.

John Firth was sat by us, and I heard Glen McKeith ask him how many he
had 'Thirty seven' he replied.

'Thirty Seven' I repeated, and demanded to see his card. Sure enough, 37
it was. We all breathed a deep sigh and decided that may be we weren't doing
so bad after all.

Round 2

After lunch we all wandered down the track to the sections down there. I
made a bugger of the section to the right of the track and so did Squirrel.
1 amp seemed to be doing alright. Mind you, if you can't get that titchy thing
round, there's bugger all of a chance for us big lads.

The 3 logs seemed to be giving a few problems. 1 Amp had a cautious do at
them and ended up with his front wheels beavering away at the first log, and
his back wheels gnawing at the second. Now then, there you are, they haven't
got everything these tiddlers have they TEE HEE.

Eventually I had a go. I approached with caution and then gave a boot full
and leapt over the two logs. I carried on to the two stick. The Marshal chortled
'sorry that's a seven'. Apparently I slew into the seven when I leapt the logs. I
thought I hadn't and expressed my views to the Marshal.

I suppose this is where I should go humble. OK Mr. Marshall I'm sorry for
shouting at you and driving off in a huff, but it is annoying when someone puts
an obstacle there which is difficult enough to negotiate without worrying about
narrow sticks. Anyway we'll talk about that later.

We finished the rest of the sections off without many problems except
narrow sticks and tight turns. The last section came and Squirrel had a few
problems. You see his wind tunneling might be superb for keeping his
thoroughbred cool in Comps and Champion Drivers, but it ain't any good for
trial sections you have to do in reverse. Anyway 1 amp cleared it, I managed a
4 and Squirrel blundered into an 8!! I think.

So back to the rank. We packed up, unfortunately we couldn't wait for
prize giving and went home.

I enjoyed myself and I think the rest of the gang did as well. I believe the
lads who set out the sections were doing it for the first time. Well done lads.
Most of the sections were OK but lets have wider sticks in future. Remember
the old Latin Phrase
NON RETURNUS GEORIVUS COOKUS DAYUM

Anyway well done and thanks. Thanks of course to the Landowner, the Marshals, few that they were, and anyone else who contributed to making a
superb weekend. Congratulations to all the winners and see you all at Hebden
Bridge,                                                              i

Clive Cocks                      

PS I believe I won a pot. Now't wrong with that. May be its because I didn't
have a young lady to distract me. Hummmmmmm - may be not.

Back to List