TONG COMP SAFARI - 10th February 1991

Friday I thought I'd better ring Michael Chaloner to see if the event
'was still on with all the snow we'd been having, he told me that if he
could make any kind of course it would go ahead. So I thought better
get the motor finished i.e. brakes, although who needs brakes in twelve
inches of snow anyway?

Sunday morning, after packing hot soup and thermals, we arrived
at about 9.30 to see about a dozen motors for scrutineering. We passed
o.k. and went down to the start. After a run round which seemed to
take forever, with motors getting stuck in the snow, and me and Mick
Heywood playing bumping cars, we lined up for our first run. From
the start there was a 100 yrd dash to the first right hander, then a
couple of S bends and another straight up to the pond. Then left down
the hill, up into the trees and down an even steeper hill slipping and
sliding, we got through the stream and along another straight to the
back wall. Better take it steady here, I thought, don't want to end up
going out so early on. After going up the back straight and round the
hairpin we came to the finish, not a bad course although very slippery.
We never used the brakes once, the slightest touch and you went out
of control.

On the second run everything went o.k. till we got to the back
wall, where a motor was half on and half off the track, as we passed -
wallop, another front wing bites the dust. This was only the fourth
event in the 90 and the third bent wine Aren't these 90’s wide!

Now I know what it's like to be in an avalanche as the cab fills with
snow from the trees. About 300 yds further on we catch Peter Brown
in his 90. He wouldn't or couldn't move over, so my passenger starts
throwing snowballs at them, one way of emptying the cab I suppose.
Third run we spun on the bend near the pond and caught the bumper
on something in a snowdrift. Oh well, no harm done, me thinks to my-
self as we set off again, that is till we get to the next corner,' when I
put full left lock on and the bumper acts as a tyre lever and off comes
the tyre, leaving us stuck. We had to take a maximum. No option but
to walk back for another wheel, which 1 found didn't fit 'cos I've now
got Range Rover axles on and it was a standard Land Rover rim. We
managed to borrow a sledge hammer and make the rim fit, much to the
amusement of some spectators. Having collected a maximum we were
out of the running, so the rest of the eight runs were driven fairly
steady without mishap, though our times were getting quicker as the
course got faster.

We finished the day with one damaged wing and no spare wheel,
but enjoyed every minute. Thanks to Ken Learoyd for the use of his
sledge hammer, Michael Chaloner and helpers for a good course given
the conditions and all the brave souls, marshals, time keepers etc for
standing out in the cold freezing their you know what's off.

Glen Thompson
(alias The Flying Vicar)

FLEGGY'S FIRST TRIAL

A quick glance through the window on Sunday morning told this fair-
weather trialler to find his wellies and head off to Sowerby to watch
the Expert/Novice trial. After much deliberation - you know the sort
things; Can 1 face breakfast? If it really is Sunday, what happened to
Saturday? etc, etc - I set off at about ten o'clock on the hour's drive
giving me plenty of time for the ten-thirty (Pennine time) start. On the
way I met up with Graham Flegg, who was thinking of joining the club
but hadn't as yet sent in the form. He also was thinking of entering a
trial at some time in the future ......

We arrived to see that the event had already got under way. A
quick look at the sections near the horse box, which seemed tame
enough, prompted the question. "Are you gonna get this thing entered
Graham?" "Dunno. What do you have to do?", came the inquisitive
reply. "Join the club; Get it scrutineered; Pay your money; Drive."
Graham seemed to think it was all too easy and still seemed hesitant.
I explained how many trials I'd done without causing any real damage;

and that this was the Expert/Novice trial, so it should be fairly tame.
I could see that further persuasion would be required. "Ideal trial to
start competing .... Easy and non-damaging .... Got to start some-
time .... Expert shows you how to do it, then you get in and do it
better . . . .". Just a few of the many phrases used. "Will you be the
expert?". "Er. . .Well. . .alright then." And so it was that the day of
Fleggy's first trial had finally arrived.

Now I feel that I should point out at this juncture that Fleggy's
motor is (was) a very tidy 1965 SWB Station Wagon. A genuine,
original, straight and undamaged seven seater with a perfect interior.
Not many about.

Anyway, with moneys paid, scrutineering passed, passengers
evicted, it was time to do some driving. We'd missed the first section,
but Dave McGivern said he'd take us through it at lunchtime. As we
were walking our first section, number six, I was explaining to Graham
that the only difficult looking part was the slippery step about half-way
through and the best method of tackling it. So it was me to go first.
Can you guess where we stopped? Got it in one. The step. I hadn't
reckoned with the Avon Ranger slicks. That's my excuse and I'm stick-
ing to it. Graham did slightly better, getting up the step but driving
out of the section straight after. For most of the morning, Graham had
an annoying habit of making the motor go places which I couldn't, and
after the first five sections our scores were about the same. Then came
section number four ....

This section was slightly more difficult than the previous ones,
with a couple of awkward looking drops which were more akin to a
CCV trial. I drove the section without too much trouble until I got
lost between four and three, getting the motor well and truly stuck
into the bargain. Now it was Graham's turn. He set off well, taking the
first of the two descents perfectly. As we approached the second and
he was lining the motor up he said "Well over to the left here, isn't
it?" "Not too far!" came my reply, and over the edge we went. I
must emphasize that the following events were not Graham's fault -
merely the results of a pretty bad show in the luck department.
Apparently, the front wheel had turned up a rock onto its ledge, and,
when the rear wheel went over it, things started to get a bit out of
hand. It's at times like this when the world changes into slow motion.
First, the realisation that an inversion really IS imminent. Next the
relief as you remember that it isn't your motor. Then the thoughts start

to drift to the loose bits of ironmongery churning around in the
back:- One drop plate complete with 50mm ball; One 15kg reel of MIG
wire (full); One starting handle; Several packs of butties (various fillings);

One flask (coffee, white, two sugars); Various other sundry metallic
items of varying sizes and weights. All these crashing about like bricks
in a giant cement mixer. I grabbed the seat belt with both hands to
steady myself, trying to look behind to get an idea of what all the loose
metalwork was doing, cringing each time the motor landed on one of
its flat faces. It finally came to rest on the driver's side after completing
1^ rolls, the roof slightly lower than the wheels. 1 looked down at
Graham from the top hammock and enquired as to his state of health.
"I'm OK", he said (which is a matter probably best left for the psycholo-
gists to debate). "Better get out now, I think we've gone outside the
line of the sticks", said I, trying to divert his attention from recent
events, and he disappeared out through the safari rear tailgate. I was
left doing puppet impressions, dangling from the seat belt, thinking how
much it was going to hurt when I released the buckle. Then the sweet
smell of petrol entered my nostrils and I left through the back door
quicker than you could say 'Put that fag out!'

Once outside, things didn't look quite as bad as imagined. The hard
top had stood up very well considering the 11/2 tons which had recently
been standing on it. Most of the panels were damaged, but that was to
be expected. Very soon our intrepid first-aid man Andy Morse was
running onto the scene. "Is anyone hurt?" "No, we're both fine,thanks
Andy", I said, watching as the look of disappointment fell across his
hitherto beaming face. "Are you SURE?" he enquired hopefully. "Yup.
Not even shaken", I confirmed, dashing his hopes completely. (Only
kidding Andy - you do a fine job). Next on the agenda was to right
the stricken steed. As the roof was slightly lower than the wheels,
Raymond suggested taking it over again, but this was ruled out due to
the number of nasty looking rocks just waiting to pierce what was left
of the roof. There was no easy way to tow it back, the land was sloping
too steeply, so only one real option was left open. Plenty of hands and
lift it back. Much heaving later (thanks to everyone who lent a hand)
and it was back on the side which Land Rover intended it to run on,
showing slightly more damage to the face which had hit the ground
twice.

We decided not to start it up until a thorough check had been
made under the bonnet and more oil added to the sump, so a tow back
up to the pits was required. This marked the end of Fleggy's first trial.

A high lift jack was borrowed from Michael Chaloner and a run
to the quarry area had us pushing the hardtop back (we jacked off the
rock face) into a shape which would allow the doors to close. Inciden-
tally, not one piece of glass broke in the roll - which just shows how

lucky Graham is.

Graham was very philosophical about the whole thing, and almost
seemed amused. Well, it isn't everyone who can rightfully claim a roll-
over sticker after only two hours' membership. Some people have to
wait years. He also isn't put off by this unfortunate incident, and was
last heard of making mutterings of ragtops and roll cages - even a torn
. ragtop should keep the rain out better than the remains of his hardtop
l    I'd like to finish by thanking everyone who helped out after our
'defeat by gravity, all the marshals, and everyone who helped to set ou¹
Especially Dave McGivern for section four and the kind offer of photo
graphs (Surely can't be coincidence???) of our misadventure.

See you all soon
Dave Rogers

SOWERBY

Hi there folks, I didn't do a write up for Tong, so I thought 1 had
better do one for Sowerby, otherwise Rod will start bawling and
shouting at me.

When I received my membership card the other week I had a
scan through to see where and when the various do's were going to
/'happen. When I saw that Sowerby was going to be the Expert/Novice
I was on the phone straight away to Lea to say this is it - time for
action.

"Sorry dive" she whimpered, "It's Mother's Day, and I have to
work".

So that was that, snookered, who the hell was I going to get for
a novice. I asked around, but nobody was still a novice. Even PP got
a pot once. So back to the drawing board.

I scratched my head for a while and then 'ding' the Mint Nurse,
she's back in the country complete with husband, Larry the Yank. Hi
there good buddie.

Anyway Chris agreed to have a go. Another old face was going to
have a go in the Ladies. Remember Pam Duckworth, well Pam was
coming along too.

Saturday night Ellen and 1 Amp invited Squirrel and Jeanne, Pete
and Sue, myself and Neita for dinner. We all had a great night, thanks
again Mick and Ellen. During after dinner conversation I mentioned
casually that I had found myself a novice, and who were they taking.
"We're not going" they replied. Uh, I thought, sod you lot. So that
was that, the WWT consisted of me, picking up Pam on the way. Chris
and Larry found their own way there.

A noisy, cold, but uneventful journey saw us arrive at Sowerby
for about 9.30 am. Chris and Larry were already there. We burbled int(
a nice cosy spot and started to prepare the old girl for the event. No,
not Chris and Pam, the Old Thunderbus.

Everyone seemed glad to see the old faces again, and there were
hugs and kisses all round, some of us even kissed the girls. Anyway to
business. Some of you may remember Chris entered the expert/novice
with me when it was last held at Sowerby. Do you remember - Oh boy
I've never forgotten it. So I decided to let her have a run round before
we started. I said toner "Now this time do as I say and listen, and we
may do alright".

Surprise, surprise, she did listen. Either married life is doing for
her, or Larry has knocked her into shape. Either way it was certainly
an improved Mint Nurse I had before me. Pam had a run round just
to brush off the old dust. That was it, ready for action.

We were going to attempt seven sections in the morning. The first
one looked fairly simple, the four stick looked a little tight though.

Me first, I poodled quietly round and ended up with' a clear. Chris
next, I think sheer panic coupled with first time nerves and frozen limbs
made her drive through the ten stick. Anyway we can only improve I
thought.

Pam next, she did alright but just caught the four stick.

On to the next. Off 1 went. Can't remember the number, but it
was the one down at the bottom with a couple of nasty drops followed
by a drive through the heather.

I did alright until l hit the heather. Unfortunately I didn't see the
bomb hole, neither did my navigator (come back Lea, all is forgiven).
We buried ourselves very nicely around the three stick.

Come on Floss, that's my nick-name for Chris, your turn now.
Fear crept across her face again.

"Look at those hills" she panicked. "Aw shut up and get in" I comforted
Off she toddled, as she approached the fast down hill she enquired -
"Any brakes?"
"Just a little".

"Oh sugar", stalled it. "Push the starter".
"What?"

"Push the starter, the bloody starter!"
Anyway the old girl fired up and we continued. Halfway down the
next hill she stalled again. We started it again and continued. Eventually
we came to rest around the same spot. Not bad I thought, but the
marshal decided we made a stop and awarded us a few more points.

Pam next. Same thing, down the first hill stalled, but the old girl
wouldn't fire up, Never mind, on to the next.

Now the next section seemed quite an interesting little twister, so
off I went again. Through the mud in the quarry bottom, over the
twisty bits, finishing with a 3 2 1 hill finish. No problem, another
clear. Floss next. Off we went gently, gently round the twisty bits and
a boot full of throttle allowed Floss to erupt into screams of delight.
"A clear, a clear!" she screamed.
Right Pam. "It looks a bit muddv. is it going to spoil mv hairdo”

She complained.

“Get on with it Ducks”.

We burbled our way round again, screeches of delight erupted again when

 she cleared it, but then fits of laughter started when she realised with the

incline of the motor she flopped back in the seat and couldneither reach the

brake, clutch or accelerator. So we both relaxed in our recliners while we

had her card marked.

"It's like being in the Bahamas", she chorkled.

"Back it off Duck".

"How?" she said.

I pulled it out of gear and we shot back down. Now the girls had more

confidence and the next two or three sections went quite well.

The last one before lunch was quite interesting. I set off and
managed alright until the last stick. The old girl just leant on it.

Uh, a one.

Right girls, this is where you can beat me. Floss had a go but
gave the one stick a real bashing. Ducks set off and did everything right.
Turned into the hill to avoid the one stick. The old girl rocked on two
wheels then went back to rest, 'EEEK' she squeaked.
"It's alright, and you missed the stick as well".
Fits of laughter erupted again.

That was that, back to camp for lunch. On the way back I noticed the
throttle sticking. Close inspection revealed the cable nearly broken. I
tried to fix it, but it just broke completely.

Now with a broken throttle cable, and a duff battery, things were
looking bad. I thought, oh sod it, let's call it a do. Then I looked up,
two sets of big sad eyes were begging me to mend it.
"Alright, alright, I'll do what I can".

I stripped the cable back, fed it to the pedal, prayed for a couple more
amps and fired her up.

"Hoorey, hoorey!" God they're like kids. Anyway we burbled bad
to the group and carried on. We struggled our way through the after-
noon, what with dash pots still sticking and the battery iffy it didn't
make for easy trialling. We persevered and managed to do quite well,
with the girls clearing more and more sections.

About 4 o'clock we finished and crawled back to camp. All my
team helped to pack up the Thunderbus,and we waited for the results.
So a good day was had by all. We also did quite well. Second in expert;

 novice. 1 got best expert and Pam got best lady. Well done girls.

 So all that remains is to thank the marshals, organisers, landowner
 and anyone else who helped to make a smashing day's fun.
A special thanks, kisses and cuddles to Floss and Duck. Thanks
 again girls. Also thanks to Larry for all the pushing and shoving. Thanks

again good buddy. Congratulations to the rest of the winners, see you all

at Scout Moor.                              Clive Cocks
                       

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